


a letter for your thoughts

by weepyclouds



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Letters, M/M, Pining, sungbri subtly in the background I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepyclouds/pseuds/weepyclouds
Summary: It's the thoughts that count, but what's the use if I keep silent around you every time you come around? Unable to look into those beautiful eyes and smile of yours and open my mouth to start a conversation, I wrote these letters instead in reminisce of the time I spent pining for you, totally prepared to keep these feelings to myself and never letting you know of them.alternatively:Wonpil wrote letters as a way to express his thoughts and feelings for Jae, which was not meant to be read by anyone except himself but Jae somehow ended up getting a box filled with those letters, unknowingly to Wonpil, on the day of his graduation.
Relationships: Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 11
Kudos: 70





	a letter for your thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> just a sudden idea that was stuck in my head during examination week (yes I wrote the first part of the fic a day before my exams uwu)
> 
> also: missing jaepil hours qwq
> 
> sorry in advance for any mistakes,,, its my first fic in here haha
> 
> enjoy!

_You, who was always in the library after school was over. Going through piles of books until the sun goes down._

_Sitting there with light treading through your beautiful blonde locks and golden framed glasses. You were waiting for a friend it seemed, or perhaps someone even more than a friend. Reading old classics and pieces of literature that nobody could ever imagine was your favourite pastime due to your reputation._

_It was a new side of you that I look forward to every day at the library._

* * *

“Sungjin!” Jae walked over with a bouquet of fake flowers—allergies, remember?—and certificate in hand to Sungjin. His graduation robe that draped over his body was not long enough for him as the hem of the robe stopped just above his knee due to his tall stature.

Sungjin was in the middle of a conversation with another one of their peers who seemed to be handing him a gift that was a brown box. Jae vaguely remembered that person as the head librarian for the year. Sungjin’s head turned to face Jae, face knitted in confusion as soon as the other person walked away.

“Woah, didn’t know you were Mr Popular. Brian is going to freak out over this,” Jae said as he tapped on the cover of the brown box twice, grinning mischievously. Sungjin just continued to frown deeply at the box before he shoved the box to Jae’s direction.

“It’s not for me. It’s for you.”

Jae blinked.

“For me?” He grabbed the box from Sungjin, scrutinising it with his eyes.

“Yeah, apparently they found this at the university’s library when they were cleaning.”

“How’d they know it’s for me?” Jae said as he looked at the bottom of the box to all four sides of it but does not see any indication that it was meant for him. Sungjin just gave him a shrug.

Jae shook the box hard but only felt a very light thump with short intervals for every shake. _Huh, it kinda feels like a paper card or something._ His eyes once again scanned the lid of the box before his hands took it off.

There were several letters in the box. All addressed to no one, the front and back of the letters were completely blank. The frown on Jae’s forehead deepened with confusion. _What’s going on?_

Sungjin seemed to be in the same predicament as Jae, nose wrinkled and eyes narrowed, but chose not to comment on it as he left Jae on the bench with the letters to get some food. It seemed like a private matter anyway, so Jae was about to ask him to leave him to it even if Sungjin does not intend to leave.

Jae ripped open one of the letters before he could ponder on it longer, finding a folded faded yellow lined paper. It vaguely reminds him of something he has seen before, but he can’t quite place a finger on it. He brushed his fingers on the press of words just on the outer surface of the paper.

Unfolding the paper, he finally found out how they know it was written for him. On the top of the paper, written in black with a neat handwritingーwhich he swears it looked familiar; “ _Jaehyung sunbaenim_ ”

* * *

_Yet another uneventful day has passed but here I am, passing my time just gazing upon your figure. After doing the same chore over and over again, we are bound to feel listless over time. Your presence here is comforting, it brightens up my day just a little, something different from the norm, something to look forward to._

_Every day, you would be reading a different type of book and I would note it down in my small notebook as a reminder to myself to check it out afterwards. Your vast knowledge of books never failed to astound me. As a librarian myself, even I have never read that many books!_

_But alas, you would always leave 5 minutes before the closing time._

_Always._

* * *

_Gone. It’s gone._

_What do I do?_

“Hey, sunbae?” Wonpil said as he rummaged through the lower cabinets at the library. He called after his senior who was busy thanking the rest of the junior librarians and accepting graduation gifts from them. Anxiety creeping up on him as he nervously tried to dry the sweat forming on his palms with his dark blue jean pants.

“What’s up, Pil?” The senior librarian asked as he leaned against the countertop of the table, hordes of flowers decorating his chest as he hugged them.

“Have you seen a brown box around here? It’s about this big with several letters in it,” he said while gesturing with his hands on how big the box was and where it was last seen. The senior’s face lit up with realisation once he figured out Wonpil’s string of words and gestures. He was about to release a breath of relief until his senior said something that made him turn a complete 180.

“Oh! I just gave it to Sungjin, apparently he’s acquainted with the person the letters were addressed to.”

Wonpil’s heart sank and eyes widened. “What?”

_Wait._

The box is gone, so are the letters which had been given to the “recipient” of the letters. Wonpil nibbled his lips in panic before his eyes darted back to his senior once more.

_Don’t panic Kim Wonpil. There’s still hope._

“How do you know who it was addressed to?”

Wonpil had never written anything on the front or back of the letters explicitly so there was no way anybody could’ve known who the letters were for. _Unless..._

“I was just cleaning up the library the other day and I noticed a box. It didn’t have any names on it so I was about to just throw it away until I opened up one of the letters, in hopes of finding a name, and voila!” He exclaimed with a cheery expression.

“I thought maybe it was a lost and found item by one of the girls or guys in our university who haven’t found the courage to confess so I just did the job for them!”

Wonpil was dumbfounded. He feels as if his soul has left his body. There was no way this was happening to him. The box of letters that he had been writing had been a form of a diary for him. Nobody was supposed to know of it except for him! He didn’t even plan to release any of the letters and was going to carry all of them home today—maybe even burn the letters after—because all of the seniors were graduating, including the ‘recipient’ of his letters, so it would be a good time to do it.

As if noticing Wonpil’s dismay, the senior questioned, “Why? Was there something you left in that box?”

Wonpil did not know how to answer that question. He didn’t want the senior to know that he was the one writing those letters and that it was not supposed to be sent out.

“Well... kinda? It’s alright though I’ll just get it back myself,” Wonpil said in the most casual manner he could ever assume; with a half awkward chuckle and hands reaching to bring his hair behind his ear. He’s obviously panicking at this point but tried hard to maintain a calm and collected persona.

“Sungjin-ssi, was it? Psychology major?” Wonpil said as he made his way to the exit of the library. The senior just gave him a thumbs up to indicate that he was right and off Wonpil went in hopes that Jae has yet to open them.

* * *

_The first I know of you weren’t at the library, which is ironic, to say the least. You are very popular around campus, although you would probably refuse to admit. My whole entire class had probably confessed to you; boys and girls included! Except for me, of course._

_Because you were someone that was unattainable, someone that would just be a dream to get together with, and I know my own limits and boundaries._

_So, I went with an alternative that would satisfy everyone. I just watched from afar. Watched how you spend countless of hours reading fictional stories that were beyond my own language capability skills. Watched how you would rush out of the library in a flurry when you realised you were gonna be late. Watched your fingers sprawled across the pages of the book that was in front of me_ _—holding my breath as to not interfere_ _—as you proceed to check out of the library._

_It was those little things that I watched out for. I only do it when I noticed you around and it was a fun pastime for me. Sometimes, I catch you in between classes, chatting away with your group of friends. Watching other people trying to start a conversation with you with blushes adorning their faces._

_And I watched how you treat everyone all the same, giving that soft smile to anyone who treats you good._

* * *

The more Wonpil thought about the contents of the letters, the faster his running pace became. _Oh my god, all the embarrassing things I’ve written!_ His hands covering his face in self-loathe.

He ran through the science department building, faster than he had ever ran in his entire life. His mind solely focused on retrieving the letters and screaming in agony from the thought of someone reading his letters.

As Wonpil was running, he passed by the school cafeteria that was filled with graduates. Complimentary drinks and food were given to graduates and their family members which was one of the major factors as to why the cafeteria was even crowded in the first place. When he spotted Sungjin at the very end of the canteen, Wonpil let out a breath of relief.

Wonpil was fairly acquainted with Sungjin, having being friends with Dowoon as they were cousins or related somehow. He doesn’t really remember but he knows it’s complicated. He quickly made his way to the man with long strides, wiping away his sweat that gleamed his forehead.

“Sungjin-ssi!” Wonpil yelled when he was within hearing distance, waving a hand at their direction to catch their attention. Sungjin was midway into biting his egg and ham sandwich when he heard someone calling for his name. He looked up wide-eyed, eyes darting around the canteen for said person.

“Hey! Did you receive a brown box just a while ago?" Wonpil said, inhaling and exhaling deeply while crouching in front of Sungjin's table; palms resting on his thighs and head looking up for eye contact. He'd bet his hair looked like a bird's nest right now from running but that was the least of his worries.

Sungjin frowned while putting down his sandwich onto his plate, swallowing the chunk of his sandwich that he had just eaten to reply Wonpil. Younghyun—the person who was sitting beside Sungjin—however, had beaten him to it.

"Wait, what brown box?" Younghyun asked.

Sungjin just rolled his eyes in jest to Younghyun and turned to face Wonpil who was unconsciously holding his breath as his eyes swept the area surrounding Sungjin, anxiousness increasing by the minute when he doesn't see a brown box.

"A senior librarian had given me one early this afternoon, said that it was for Jae, though I'm not sure if that's the same brown box you are looking for."

"Yes! That's the one," Wonpil exclaimed in a voice that was a tad bit too loud and maybe a bit too enthusiastic as well but he didn't care. He had to get those letters back before Jae can even know it exists. "Could you give it back, please? There was a mix up regarding that brown box and we need it back as soon as possible."

Wonpil knew that he was being ambiguous with his reason but he doesn't want to lie unnecessarily nor does he want to tell the actual truth on why he wants the box back. He doesn't want to take any risks. Wonpil licked his dry lips as he waited patiently for Sungjin's reply.

"Sorry, Wonpil. Jae was just beside me when I received that box so I just gave it to him right away," Sungjin said.

To say that Wonpil freaked out was an understatement.

He broke down. He felt as if his head was going to explode. He could feel the beginning of his tears but he willed himself to stop his eyes from tearing up. Although his breathing had already calmed down from running earlier, he felt as if he couldn't breathe again.

_No. Not now._

Taking a deep breath and blinking the tears away, he thanked Sungjin before leaving the cafeteria. As he walked out of the cafeteria, he heard a voice that distinctly sounds like Younghyun pestering Sungjin about the brown box but he paid no mind to it.

* * *

_Another mundane day, doing the same old routine; arranging books while jotting down records. That was until you walked to the counter with a stack of books. You were looking forward to borrowing these books for the weekend to read._

_I stared at you for a moment too long, eyes roaming around your face; outlining your beautiful lips. You waved your hand in front of my face to catch my attention and asked if I was okay._

_I wasn’t okay. The close proximity from you was making it hard for me to focus. Hands trembling as I took the books from you to process them. Your gaze lingered on me as I took out the record book. After I wrote down the book’s code, I turned to look at you, asking for your name to complete the borrowing process, even though I definitely knew your name._

_Perhaps I just wanted to start a conversation._

_Nonetheless, you told me your full name_ _—Park Jaehyung_ _—along with a smile that made me avert my gaze from you to keep myself from falling apart. Without looking to meet your eyes, I gave you the books which you accepted graciously and proceeded to exit the library with a skip in your step._

_What a beautiful angel._

* * *

At first, Jae was a little creeped out by the letters. Who wouldn’t be? It sounded as if someone was stalking him or something.

But, as he slowly progressed through the countless letters in the box, he slowly found it endearing as he realised who wrote the letters and the message along with its intentions behind them.

Once again tracing the handwriting with his fingertips as he looked at the way his name was written neatly in black at the top of the page. He chuckled at the memory.

He remembered that day, the smaller man who was too shy to look into Jae’s eyes, stuttering his every word and handing him his books with shaky hands. Of course, he remembers.

Why wouldn’t he? The pretty yet mysterious librarian is the reason why he was so adamant on going to the library almost every single day, turning down all his other friends’ invitations to hang out and reading all the literature books in the library.

Jae was hoping to start a conversation with him someday but couldn’t quite gather the courage to do so with how guarded the man was. All glares and frowns as his resting face.

But, when he smiles. _Oh god, his smile._ How ethereal the man looked was incomprehensible. He’s pretty sure it’s the most prettiest smile he had ever seen. And Jae knew a lot of people.

He folded the last letter in the brown box and placed it back into its envelope. Carrying the box with him as he stood, Jae started his search for the younger man.

* * *

_You are graduating tomorrow. It doesn’t feel like reality right now but perhaps I’ll come to terms with it tomorrow. As usual, you are here once again, in the university’s library. Basking in the sun with your hair flowing in the wind._

_I would love to congratulate you on your graduation but my shy self wouldn’t be able to work up the courage to get the words out. The same goes for these feelings that have been left alone for quite some time._

_By tomorrow, you would be going somewhere far away; out of reach, out of sight. What are the possibilities that you would be still around, lurking somewhere in my life? What are the odds of my feelings getting reciprocated?_

_Close to none._

_Alone with my thoughts again as this would be the last letter I would write about you. By tomorrow, these letters too shall be gone. Hopefully, these feelings too._

* * *

Wonpil was devastated. He knew that, even if he tried to get the box back now, Jae would’ve read at least a few letters by now. It’s not that hard to read a few pieces of paper in a short span of time compared to thick literature books.

If only he could shut his brain off right now, life would be infinitely better. He wouldn’t have to worry about his stupid feelings and obviously worry about the implications of his dumb actions.

Oh, how he longed to just curl up in his bed right now, cuddle with his blankets and maybe hug all his plushies for comfort. Wonpil would do anything just for that to happen right now.

He was just pacing around the university’s garden. The flowers around him looked as if they’re trying to comfort him as they swayed along with the wind in a waving motion. He had long given up on retrieving the box at this point. It was probably for the better because, if he were to do so, then Jae would definitely find out he was the one who wrote the letters if he hadn’t caught on yetーwhich Wonpil believed would be the case because who was he when compared to an angel like Jae?

Wonpil crouched to the ground with his hands covering his face. He groaned into his hands, trying to release the pent-up emotions he could feel welling inside of him. He should’ve just gotten rid of the letters yesterday.

_It’ll be alright, Kim Wonpil. In just a few hours, the graduation ceremony would be over and everyone would be on their jolly way home and you wouldn’t have to be in this situation anymore and I’m sure Jae would long forget about the existence of the letters if you give it a few months. It’ll be alright_ , he tried to comfort himself.

But, his anxiousness continued to grow and he was slowly becoming antsy. He took out his phone in an attempt to try to calm his nerves. He needed to talk to someone about this. He quickly whipped up the messaging app and was about to text his bestie, Jinyoung.

“Wonpil-ssi.”

In that instant, Wonpil dropped his phone onto the patch of grass. _Ah, that sweet voice._ He’d definitely recognised it anywhere. Which was why he wanted to run away from the spot he is in right now.

_Shit, did Jae caught on?_

He schooled himself to an indifferent face along with some courage. Wonpil desperately hoped his facade worked as he turned his body to face the taller man behind him.

“Hey there! Jaehyung-ssi, was it?” Trying an easy smile on his face as he inwardly cringed at his words. _How fake, Kim Wonpil._ His eyes were glued to the floor. He can’t do it, not with his heart pounding in his ears. There was no way he could look him in the eye—those beautiful dark chocolate eyes—and lie. Lying had always been his weakest point.

He could see the shadow of Jae holding a box from the ground. Jae definitely found out. Or not why has he appeared right in front of him, while carrying that godforsaken brown box?

Wonpil predicted how this situation would go. He will get rejected. Simple. And there’s no other way around it. Maybe this was what he needed to move on. A rejection.

He willed a loose smile onto his face, finally looking up to take one final view of Park Jaehyung, the beautiful man that he had secretly pined for ever since freshman year. The soft smile Wonpil was given was honestly the cutest, and seeing it up close? His face definitely looked flushed now if it wasn’t earlier.

“Kim Wonpil,” Jae said as if he was testing how his name rolled off the tip of his tongue. Wonpil just nodded with a tight smile.

Jae straightened his collar while patting down the wrinkles of his gown. He extends an arm forward while assuming the most ridiculous and dramatic face Wonpil had ever seen. From his extended hand, held a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like the graduation pamphlet.

“For you, Mr Kim,” Jae said with a faux accent.

With a confused expression, Wonpil grabbed the piece of paper hesitantly. Unfolding it, he noticed that he was right about it being the graduation pamphlet. But, as he was about to show Jae his scowl and tell him off about how rude this was, he noticed the messy writing of words scrawled at the corner of the page.

“Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love, Hamlet by William Shakespeare.”

It was a famous line in Hamlet. It described the depth of Hamlet’s feelings of love for Ophelia. Although there are some controversies regarding this specific line, due to the fact that there could be several implications, Wonpil immediately knew what Jae was trying to convey to him.

Yes, his capability of understanding literature might not be the brightest but, even he could understand this.

The tears that he had been holding back had finally been released, caressing his cheeks with wet strokes as his face flushed red, embarrassment creeping up to him. He was weeping now and there was nothing that could stop him as the tears dropped onto the letter that Jae had hastily written for Wonpil.

Jae dropped everything he was holding and cradled him in his arms, caressing Wonpil’s hair with his long fingers. Wonpil—with no mercy—sobbed onto Jae’s graduation gown, soaking it with his tears and snot but Jae didn’t seem to care at this point.

“I’ve read your letters. Every single one of them,” Jae said with finality.

Wonpil wiped his tears and snot with the back of his hand and looked up from his position to gaze directly into Jae’s eyes. Wonpil could definitely get lost in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Confusion filled his eyes again. _Was he reading things wrong again?_ Slowly backing away from the hug as realisation dawned on him.

Wonpilーwith the smallest amount of courage left in himーquietly asked, “For what?”

Jae then gives another smile that sent his brain in overdrive.

“For not being able to give you back your box of letters. Sungjin called me a few minutes ago and told me that you were looking for them and needed them back.”

The taller man pulled him closer into the hug, smile getting impossibly wider as he stared back into his eyes.

“They’re my prized possession now,” Jae said mischievously, letting out soft laughter after his declaration. At that, Wonpil can’t help but laugh as well at how childish Jae was being. Tears still brimming in his eyes as laughter spilled out of his mouth.

Jae’s laughter, however, stopped when Wonpil started laughing. Gaze hovering over Wonpil as Jae stared adoringly at him.

“You’re so pretty.”

He could feel himself smiling the widest he had ever smiled in his entire life, eyes crinkling at the side. At that, he laughed once more at the entity known as Park Jaehyung (which eventually lead to some bickering because Jae was offended that Wonpil had the audacity to laugh at a compliment).

Although they had finally found each other in a very slow manner and almost giving up at the last momentーin which God had _finally_ decided to do something about itーthey have all the time in the world they need to get to know each other.

_And when Jae gifts a box of letters along with a small velvet box containing a silver band to him on their 6th anniversary, Wonpil had never doubted himself anymore; whispering a yes as they hugged along with a warm smile, sharing a chaste kiss after._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading this!
> 
> kudos, comments and bookmarks are much appreciated but as long as you enjoyed this fic I would be more than glad! hope this made your day :D
> 
> twitter: [link](https://twitter.com/weepyclouds)  
> cc: [link](https://curiouscat.me/weepyclouds)


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